i haven't won a game in about 3 weeks. it's weird, because sometimes you can't do anything but win, and then sometimes you lose one game, and then another, and then another, and pretty soon, it's the only thing you know how to do. the harder you try, the worse it gets.
some people call it a slump, but in this case, it's the dog days of summer. as carson mccullers once put it in the member of the wedding, the dogs days are when the days seem to drag on forever and nothing changes until the dog days are over. it's kind of a helpless time, because you know things are going to change soon, but until they do, there's really nothing you can do about your situation. i've been telling myself not to force anything, that things will turn out okay, but at the same time, it feels like every decision i make is wrong, and everything is a struggle. i know i shouldn't overthink what's already done, because it won't change the outcome, but it's hard not to. i'm just hoping the dog days will be over soon. i'm ready for the clarity and joy i once knew.